Exhausted but unable to rest
Trauma-informed Somatic-based Psychotherapy and Counselling for adult individuals and couples.
In-Person in Brant COUNTY & Norfolk County. Virtual across ontario.
You give everyone else your all but you’re running on fumes.
You are the reliable one. You notice what needs doing. You fix what’s broken and clean what’s messy so others won’t have to. You move through meetings and errands on autopilot until it’s time for bed, and then you find yourself tired but wired, replaying the day, anticipating what’s to come, mentally rehearsing past regrets and future fears. You start projects that you’re excited about but you lose momentum because the fruits of your labour are only for you. You feel guilty about downtime. Play and pleasure feel foreign. The cost of all work and no play shows up in racing thoughts, muscle tension and chronic headaches. You wonder what it would be like to slow down and truly live in the moment.
Your inability to rest isn’t a failure of willpower. Your nervous system is locked into a pattern designed to keep you safe and keep it all together. With consistent work, your nervous system can relearn safety and you can access ways of being beyond your default coping habits. True rest, peace of mind and presence in the moment are possible.
Could there be more than this…?
Trying to “just relax” doesn’t work because neurobiological patterns are set off without our conscious awareness. Safety and rest must be taught in incremental, repeatable ways so that protective aspects of your nervous system can lower their guard and experience evidence that it’s okay to slow down. When you explore what your body is asking of you, real moments of rest and recovery become possible. The instinct to rescue others can become a cue to care for yourself. Curiosity for play can lead to creative projects that are fulfilling and restorative. When you are more emotionally present, your relationships can deepen.
Real moments of recovery and connection are possible.
Disclaimer: The experiences described here are meant to support curiosity and reflection and are not necessarily diagnostic. Not all symptoms and patterns in all people originate from the same cause or place. Therapy is a collaborative process individualized to each person, and may be enhanced or supported by assessment and treatment with other health care providers as necessary.
What This Work Can Look Like…
Sessions include practicing body-based awareness, experimenting gently with your tolerance for discomfort, learning to approach various parts of yourself with curiosity, and exploring patterns entwined with your past and present. I’ll help you notice the signals your body offers before spinning out or shutting down, we’ll practice ways of soothing your nervous system, and over time, you’ll work toward rebuilding the natural regulation patterns of your body. Though this work involves moving through pain you’ve been pushing away, speeding past, or shutting down, we will approach the process in a way that mitigates feelings of overwhelm.
Working with me is experiential and relational, which means the process is not predictably structured in the ways our patriarchal, capitalist culture has conditioned us to expect. The pace, rhythm and frequency of a therapeutic relationship are part of the healing process. It’s important to know that deep and lasting change will likely require you to budget both time and finances.
"[…]the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen."
Pema Chödrön
Ready to take the first step?
If this is resonating with you, book a free 15-minute video consultation. We’ll chat about what you’re hoping to get support with and I’ll answer questions you might have. If we both feel we’re a good fit, we can schedule your first session.
Questions you want to ask before scheduling anything? Click here!
Core Clarity Psychotherapy & Counselling is not a same-day crisis service. The clinic email and phone is not monitored 24/7.
If you are in immediate danger please call 9-1-1, visit your nearest emergency room, or use the following resources for support:
National Suicide Helpline: Call or Text 9-8-8
Haldimand-Norfolk Crisis Assessment and Support (CAST): 866 487 2278
Brant Crisis Outreach and Support (COAST): 866 811 7188
ConnexOntario (Mental Health, Addiction, Crisis and Gambling support): connexontario.ca or 866 531 2600.